Thursday, September 17, 2015

Another year

2 years. 730 days. 17,520 minutes. 1,051,200 minutes. 63,072,000 seconds.

So many things can happen in this time span. You could get married and have your first child. You could travel the world or get a degree. For me though, the last two years have been a little bit different.

Exactly 2 years ago I woke up like any other day and went to sleep that night in a hospital bed. For a week I was hospitalized which included 2 surgeries, a blood transfusion, almost dying, and a diagnosis that would stick with me forever. 

A year later, I was better. I had just learned how to walk again, but I still couldn't go to school or do many things. At this time I was dealing with heart issues and the doctor wasn't treating my pain well so I was likely in bed because I always felt too sick to leave the house. The pain had crippled me to a state where for a year I couldn't walk and even now it is still a constant struggle. 

Now here I am 2 long years later. Even though every single day since had been filled with pain - I'm alive. I go to school and do extra activities. I work hard and I hang out with my friends. I run. Most importantly, I'm alive. I survived that which was supposed to end my life. 

Getting to where I am now wasn't easy though. I would be lying if  I said there weren't bumps in the road, but with God and the love and support of my family and friends I did it. Though I have more than 13 physical and mental disabilities I've had to face day in and day out for the last two years and I'll likely have for the rest of my life they have yet to hold me back. 

So today I celebrate that.

I celebrate my body. Sure my blood is pretty screwed up and my joints, nervous, and immune system don't exactly work right, but I still have a pretty good body. It's gotten me through hundreds of needle pokes, hours of scans and radio-active dye, it's had deadly chemicals pumped in it, 2 surgeries, a blood transfusion, and it could literally stop working at any second. Yet my heart is still beating, my kidneys are still filtering, and my lungs still reflate. Yeah I'm sick, but I am thankful for the health I do have. 
I celebrate my mental health. Yes, this past year I have struggled with some mental health issues, but I'm blessed to be in the place that I am today. I'm more hopeful than before and I have a much better mindset.

I celebrate my family and friends. I have had some friends who have left since I've gotten sick, but I am so lucky to have family and friends who have been by my side day in and day out. I'm especially thankful for my family for driving hours for treatment, waiting at doctor's appointments, and constantly putting my health needs above anything else. I will never be able to express the gratitude I have.

I celebrate my determination. To think about how far I've come to get where I am today makes me tear up. I've been through what feels like hell and back. I would be lying if I said that I never thought about giving up, but something in me never aloud it. Months of physical therapy, and months more coming up. Trying what feels like thousands of drugs. Driving 10 hours and calling specialist after specialist. All for this moment; all for the ability to walk, to run, to be a normal teenager. The image of where I am today was what kept me going and to think that I'm there - that yes I still have a lot of pain and am sick, but I can do so much - is a truly an un-describable, humbling feeling. 

I celebrate my God. Without Christ I never would have been able to see the beauty to my suffering and gotten through what I did. It has been a bit rocky, but I know without a doubt God is holding and carrying me through even if I don't always see it at the time.

Lastly, I celebrate my life. Nearly two years ago doctors told my mom that it was medically impossible that I would survive and in the same breath said that I was lucky my leg wasn't amputated. I was given a second chance at life. Sure the circumstances aren't that great, but I have one life and I'm determined to make every moment count. 

Today is not just a day for me. Today is the day that changed my life forever, but because of it I have become a better person and I am thankful for that. Today I celebrate my past, present, and future.

2 years. 730 days. 17,520 hours. 1,051,200 minutes. 63,072,000 seconds. 

So much can happen in that time span. For me, I discovered more of who I was and overcame so much. Yes I'm still sick, but I'm better.

Here's to another year of living life to the fullest.


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